2 Originals MP3

[mrhawi]

Hi, i want to show 2 originales themes that im working on, please i need some counsels or critics to improve in mi skills as a composer, because i dont have good skills right now, but, anyway, here are the themes:

http://goear.com/listen/20526b4/Theme-2-Mr-Hawi

http://goear.com/listen/369ef02/battle-theme-test-mr-hawi

I hope that you enjoy it, i will not get angry if i recieve bad comments, so, feel free to comment if you want, regards =)

EDIT: to prevent misunderstood...

PS: Sorry for my bad english...

[CBlockDis]

Ya know, at first I ready your post as "I will get angry if I recieve bad comments"... and stopped me dead in my tracks. But you said will NOT, so that killed the excitement. Anyway, I'll listen and post about these later... gotta head to bed.

[Charybdizs]

Hmm... There's something about your music, especially your second one, the battle theme... It sounds like good music, but it just... Isn't nearly as intense as it could be... I think it needs more in there. Whether it's an- Nevermind, I know what it is!

It needs more harmony in there, it's just kind of one main track as it is, you should try adding an accompanying ensemble or something, just some stuff to fill it in. As far as I can tell though, it has decent composition in regards to pattern and flow. Keep up the good work!

[CBlockDis]

First tune - I think the song could definitely use panning, but until you are familiar with it I won't bother with a description on how to use it effectively.
The intensity I think suffer more from the lack of a beat that can hold the listener. The drums start out building intensity, then never go into a groove. You trick the listener with the snare fill and then nothing. It goes back into repetition with the kick/hi hat combo and never strays from that again. Throw in a cymbal crash every now and then at the start of a phrase, do some kick snare alternating beats, mix it up some. At the moment the drums are killing the momentum because the song starts with the push, and just keeps pushing instead of kicking back into a groove to hold the intensity, while variating what was brought to the person's ears initially. A good thing to think is if the music itself changes, the drums need to change to. Even if it's only a subtle change like adding another percussive sound, it's best the drums follow the music in regards to variation.

Second song - Now, the drums in this are a bit of the opposite of the first song's, they lack the intensity to make a good battle song backing. Take the steadiness of the first song's drum, like the hihat part, and combine it with the kick and snare of the second song and you'll have a pretty cool little beat going. The bass in this song is a bit dull, but I think if it had more of a solid pattern to it then it would help drive the battle-esque sound. I'd also recommend using some other background instrumentation to try and boost the drive of the song, steady rythym with heavy syncopation. You'd need to learn how to use Velocity on MIDIs first though, so figure that one out and then I'll be more elaborate.

[mrhawi]

@The ultimate chimera: Thanks for comments, yeah ultimate chimera, u are right, second theme doesnt have the intensity that it must have, i must work on it, and you're right i should use more instruments to fill the music.

@CBlockDis: wow man, thanks a lot for that critics and your sugestions, yeah, i must work in my composer skills, i will take your sugestions and will work on themes, and you are right, first theme has a boring percusion and second doesnt have the intensity of a battle teme, and both themes need background instrumentation.

Thanks for your comments =)


PS:Sorry about my bad english